Pronouns Matter: A Guide for Getting Started

October 16, 2019 is International Pronouns Day, a day where we seek to make respecting, sharing and educating about personal pronouns commonplace. Referring to people by the pronouns they determine for themselves is an act of human dignity. Recent research shows that referring to people in the ways they wish to be referred can have positive health outcomes. 

Why does using someone’s pronouns matter?

Using someone’s pronouns is a way to show respect and create inclusive environments. Using correct pronouns limits feelings of minority stress related to gender and the risk of being misgendered. By using someones correct pronouns you are telling them that you care about their existence as a human, their mental health and their overall well being. 

How do I know which pronouns to use?

The best way to inquire about someone else’s pronouns is to offer your own during introductions, especially if you are cis-gender. By offering your own pronouns you create an opportunity for others to share their pronouns and avoid being misgendered. Asking someone's correct pronouns may be an option, but this also places a great deal of pressure on individuals to communicate their gender identity when it may or may not be safe to do so. Please do not leave it up to the individual to offer their pronouns. This often creates extreme discomfort and unnecessary stress.

How can I help individuals feel more comfortable to communicate their pronouns or honor the pronouns of others? 

Take the time to communicate your own pronouns. Placing your pronouns in your email signature line is a great first step. If you are in a space with name badges, adding your pronouns to your badge helps normalize pronouns during introductions or discussions. When meeting someone new say, “Hi my name is ___. My pronouns are ____.” 

How can I avoid misgendering someone when I do not know their pronouns? 

Stop making assumptions about gender. Your eyes may not be getting the full story of the person’s gender identity. Use gender neutral language. Replace “Good morning ladies and gentlemen” with “Good morning folx” or “It’s great to see you all today”. Try “thank you, have a great day” instead of “thank you ma’am” or “Yes” instead of “yes, sir”. While many of us are brought up to think that the inclusion of gendered honorific is a sign of respect or good manners, in the discussion of gender it is the exact opposite. Your efforts to show respect may actually be causing a great deal of pain. 

I’m a healthcare or behavioral healthcare provider, what can I do? 

As healthcare providers, we have an ethical obligation to do no harm. One of the most frequent complaints of transgender, non-binary and gender non-conforming people is the harm caused when they are misgendered while accessing healthcare services. In addition to the suggestions above, ensure your documentation has separate fields for sex and gender, these fields should be open text, not check boxes or drop down menus. Ensure your office staff are aware of the importance of using correct names and pronouns for individuals under your care at all times. Lastly, ensure training for your team related to gender and the use of correct pronouns is part of your annual training plan.

For more information on the correct use of pronouns, visit https://pronounsday.org/

For more information on training related to gender, sexuality and relationship structure minorities for your workplace contact info@modernpath.net.