Reflecting on Mental Health Awareness Month

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Every month is mental health awareness month when you struggle with your mental health.

May is mental health awareness month, but what does that actually mean? For someone who doesn’t struggle with their mental health, May is a time for more folx to learn about what it’s like to live daily with mental illnesses or symptoms. 

What is missing is the real destigmatization of mental health issues and treatment, knowing how to support loved ones and friends when they are showing signs of struggle, and respecting people’s boundaries about their time, energy, and relationships to others.



Destigmatizing Mental Health

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Someone told me that when they tell others about our therapeutic relationship, they called it “Karenpy,” and I nearly cried tears of joy.

I love hearing my clients say they’ve shared something about our time with their partners, friends, and families, because it tells me that they are comfortable enough to talk about their therapy and that they aren’t ashamed of asking for help. Well, for some clients, asking for help is terrifying, which is actually part of the need for awareness. When we’ve been shamed or dismissed about our needs and sharing our feelings, it’s much harder for us to make the difficult and courageous step of finding a therapist or joining a support group.

We need to make mental health be something that we can share with others and receive empathy and validation for, just like we do more consistently when our physical health is struggling. 

How to support and show up for your peeps

This is a unique process for each person, as some people want their loved ones to be around them and help them get through their internal struggles, and others want support in ways like doing tasks for them to make it easier to focus on their internal stuff while external stuff is struggling.

Here are some helpful tips:

  • Please don’t suggest the most obvious concepts or coping skills, as your loved one has probably heard it or know it, and it either doesn’t work or they aren’t currently in the space to try it out.

    • Examples: “try yoga,” “just calm down,” “you just need to be outside more,” “think more positively”

  • Instead, you could ask them questions like, “what usually helps when you feel this way?”, “do you want to hang out?”, “do you want to talk out what’s going on?”, “what can I do to help?”

  • You can also say validating things like, “that sounds really difficult, you must be exhausted,” “panicking like that sounds scary,” “I’m glad you trust me to tell me about this.”

  • Just a simple check-in can be so helpful for someone whose depression is encouraging them to isolate, or they are too mentally tired to reach out to others. This especially is helpful when a loved one’s more typical behavior changes. We can open the dialogue about how they are, even if they don’t respond to it right away.

How to respect the boundaries of others when they struggle with their mental health

Respecting boundaries is a big, BIG topic, so we will do a quick summary of the hows and whys. Healthy boundaries are an amazing thing to develop. They help us protect our physical and mental health, they improve our relationships to others, and they allow our needs and limits to be heard and seen.

When we are supporting someone with mental health struggles, some of the top things we can do are to respect what the person tells you, believe it is their truth, and help in the ways they want help, by listening to what they say. Sounds simple, right? Just showing that you are actively listening, as in listening to understand and not listening to respond, can really help others feel safer and allow them to open up more if they choose to. When we also add in believing what they are telling you, we can help them find resources or support that help their actual needs, like accessing a therapist. 

And if you or a loved one are looking for awesome affirming therapists, we have a bunch right here!


Here are some fantastic resources to support mental health needs:

KarenKaren LillKaren Corry, LGBTQ, Mental Health Awareness Month, Mental Health, Resources