Primary Objective: Geek Therapy
I invite you to consider who you perceive when imagining “a geek.” What images come to mind? A super smart white guy with glasses? A shy girl who reads a lot and has no friends? Do you think of Sheldon?
Our beliefs around the idea of being a geek are important, because, let’s face it: while we may be in an era of increased acceptance of geekdom, being a geek can still be socially detrimental.
If you think I’m being a bit over-dramatic or presumptive, let’s look at the top definitions of the word geek from a cursory google search done today in 2023.
According to the Oxford Language Dictionary, the word geek means: “a person often of an intellectual bent who is disliked.” Or “an enthusiast or expert especially in a technological field or activity. computer geek.”
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary provides these definitions of the term: “a person who is knowledgeable about and obsessively interested in a particular subject, especially one that is technical or of specialist or niche interest.” And to “engage in or discuss technical or computer-related tasks obsessively or with great attention to detail.”
Our “less reputable,” but infinitely more accessible web encyclopedia, Wikipedia, provides a more grounded definition: “The word geek is a slang term originally used to describe eccentric or non-mainstream people; in current use, the word typically connotes an expert or enthusiast obsessed with a hobby or intellectual pursuit. In the past, it had a generally pejorative meaning of a ‘peculiar person, especially one who is perceived to be overly intellectual, unfashionable, boring, or socially awkward.’”
And the most liked definition on Urban Dictionary (not necessarily a super reputable source but with over 28,000 likes , it seems to endorse a certain stereotype around the term geek): “The people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult.”
A cursory search yields dozens of variations of definitions regarding the term geek, many of which either directly state or at least imply that the word is derogatory or insulting.
However, for those of us that claim the term, there exists both a declaration of identity as well as an affirmation of our own passions, hobbies, and (often misunderstood) motivations and interests. To me, and to many I know, to be a geek is to be boldly, proudly, and openly engaged and invested in a particular hobby or interest (often multiple) otherwise underrepresented in dominant culture. Many things that are considered geeky are associated with media and entertainment with fandoms associated with books, comics, movies, television shows, and games. The mainstream media may portray the stereotypical geek as a socially awkward straight white dude that may or may not be “stereotypically autistic”, but that is neither an accurate nor representative example of our community as a whole.
To be a geek is to fall in love with something that most other people don’t find more than interesting (if that). Almost everybody has seen, or at least heard of “Star Wars”, but where the average consumer sees a movie series, a geek sees a living, breathing universe. There are people who watch Doctor Who and then there are Whovians (the geek term for individuals dedicated to the Doctor Who fandom), those that watch Star Trek and Trekkies. In the simplest terms, a geek is someone that loves something, regardless of if the people around them understand it or not.
So how does this turn into therapy? Brilliant question, thank you for asking!
I conceptualize Geek therapy in two distinct ways: “Geeking Out” and “Playing Therapy.”
First, Geek therapy utilizes a passion to immediately establish buy-in from a geeky client. If the therapist themselves is a geek, it’s also a recipe for instantaneous rapport. You cannot begin to imagine the number of deep, emotionally charged, and clinically significant conversations that have started in my office over the Yoda lamp in the background or the Pokémon plushies that litter the room. When I hold space for a client to Geek Out, I’m showing them in no uncertain terms that I am safe and that I relate. In the way many addicts and alcoholics find it is significantly easier and often more impactful to work with other addicts and alcoholics, geeks tend to find that same shared comradery, even if interests don’t always overlap. This is the same passion, energy, and connection that allows conventions like Dragon Con, Comic Con, and PAX to flourish; To paraphrase a client I once worked with, “Going to a convention is just going to see 50 thousand of your best friends.”
But even distilling that sense of connection into a conversation between a client and therapist isn’t enough to build a whole modality of therapy… is it?
This is where Playing Therapy takes over. So much of Geek culture is rooted in the consumption and study of various forms of media that the psychology of storytelling becomes an immediate focus in a geeky clinical setting. I can give you psychobabble all day about generational trauma, cognitive distortions, corrective emotional experiences, maladaptive coping skills, blah, blah, blah.
BUT…
What if, instead, we talk about the healing journey that Kratos experiences in God of War and his growth in his relationship with his son, Atreus; that learning to be a loving and expressive parent by showing emotional vulnerability is the reason Atreus learns to trust himself and embrace his own identity. Or what if we chat about how Anakin Skywalker could have grown into the next Jedi Grandmaster if he had learned to communicate effective boundaries and put himself and his loved ones first instead of his job? How about if we look at grief through the lens of Batman? Sure, he may be a dramatic billionaire vigilante with some skewed concepts of justice, but he also demonstrates how a routine, physical activity, reliance on others, building a family of choice, and some seriously stylish leather and BDSM gear (lol) can help repair the damage left behind by trauma.
This concept is where Geek Therapy gets its superpowers. We can fuse (DBZ or SU reference? Up to you!) meaningful pieces of art and media with therapeutic interventions. While those interventions may be effective on their own, they level up significantly when we can steep them in a client’s chosen interests. We can take the process of therapy, which can be truly terrifying, and turn it into something a little more familiar. In fact, we are often able to make therapy feel more like a game, with its own level ups, boss fights, secret levels, and epic quests.
When you take these two concepts and put them together, “Geeking Out” and “Playing Therapy” evolve into this wild and wonderful growing modality that is Geek Therapy. I know I am not the only therapist, or geek, out there that is deeply passionate about this modality, so if you have any questions, comments, or you’re just interested, feel free to give me a holler.
Sitting across the room talking to a stranger may sound scary, but playing Minecraft while talking to another geek? Easy mode.
To learn more about Geek Therapy or to schedule an appointment with Grant, visit his official profile here.