This Thing Called Unconditional Positive Regard
You may have heard the term before: Unconditional Positive Regard.
The first time I heard those words they resonated deeply with me and they have guided my work as a therapist ever since. What does it mean? In my practice, it means you can count on finding a space in which you can feel safe to speak your truth without fear of judgment, a space where you can express your needs, your fears, your pain and expect to feel supported and heard. Sounds great, right? It is. It feels great to know you’re fully accepted, and it also opens up space for vulnerability.
Vulnerability is hard. Speaking one’s truth is hard. Facing into shame, guilt, embarrassment, or fear (or all of those combined) is hard. And it’s exactly what we need to do in order to grow. The therapy setting is the place where you get to practice those things, fail at those things, try again, and again, and succeed. Unconditional Positive Regard gives you permission to do that work without fear of being judged by your therapist. Unconditional Positive Regard builds safety, trust, and confidence to embrace vulnerability and begin taking honest action.
Unconditional positive regard basically means valuing a person as doing their best to move forward in their lives constructively and respecting the person’s right to choose the path that is best for them. For me as a therapist, this includes believing in your innate ability to absolutely know what is in your own best interests.
I believe that every single one of us has every ounce of strength, wisdom, and truth we need to find happiness, peace, and fulfillment in our lives. As a therapist, I have no preconceived notions about what is right for you. In our therapeutic space, there will be no judgment about your needs, or wants, or desires, or choices. This is a space free of shame, free of guilt, a space where you can feel safe to do the work you need to do. My role is to be your guide, help you find your way, maybe teach you a few tricks along the way. You will learn to hear your own inner wisdom. You will learn to understand yourself. You will learn to trust yourself. And you will determine the path that is best for you.
